The reactionary me, the one that has a tendency to want to make quick resolutions happen, the “shoot off not so thought all the way through texts and emails me” has never been one to wait around for the universe to take care of things. (It has often been my opinion that the universe is slow, may or may not be able to get things done to my satisfaction, and I have always been a “let’s do this and get it done today” kind of girl.)
This has not always worked out so great in my favor. And by not always, I mean almost never. I’m impulsive and emotional, the combination of which is a powder keg in the instantaneous technology driven world I live in. I have always been one to react, not respond. There’s a huge difference.
As people, we want what we want when we want it; I’m no exception.
But, I’m learning to reset my thinking, more specifically how I react (or should I say no longer react) to things. Here’s how it happened…
I have a very wise friend, who as we were swapping stories on a beach in Maui this past summer, who, as he listened to a story of mine that can ONLY be described as a complete, no holds barred, panic-stricken rant about the uncertainty of what was going on with me in that moment, said just four words in response: “Time is your friend.”
What? I’m sorry, but what the what?
Honestly, I was just lost. Did he not hear me? I’m hurting NOW. I’m needing this better NOW. I need resolution NOW.
He continued… “You are in such a hurry. Geez, this could take a year to resolve and you would still have a good 40 or 50 years to enjoy the end result. Give everyone a little time to figure their stuff out, and by everyone, I mean mainly…you. You need some time.”
What the what?
Okay, so I didn’t get it at first. Or any other day that week. Even though my friend gave me this advice every. single. day. as he tried to talk me off that ledge of urgency I had a stronghold upon.
Time is my friend.
I appreciate friends who can give me some tough love when I need it. Who can say with love “You are in this moment quite possibly a train wreck and you need to give yourself some time to do some inner work so you can offer up your best self to those around you”. My friend was trying to teach me to learn to respond, instead of react, and how you make the jump from one to the other is allowing time (and the universe) to work its will…instead of trying to impose your own.
By the end of the week I had figured a few things out. Time was more than my friend, it was going to be my savior. Time allows everyone (not just me) the space to make heart centered decisions, find their path, and share their lives in the best way. Just like we need space to breathe when we are feeling life is throwing several things on at once, time is necessary to allow us the ability to think through logical, helpful “next steps”. It’s about learning to respond instead of react. Whoa.
So, as I write this, I’ve been home a month from that trip. How am I doing? Well, some days better than others. But, what felt like a grief filled sense of urgency for resolution a month ago has turned into an ability to trust that things are going to work out the way they are supposed to. And when they do, I’ll have a good 40 or 50 years of time to enjoy that predestined outcome.
Time is my friend.